A celebrity, apparently
Like a recurring pile, once again the 'celebrity' tw@tfest known as Big Brother is back on our television screens.
Starring some pairs of tits, a small lather of soap stars, a woman who has f*cked a footballer and his brother, a bouffanted Pete Doherty wannabe, and a Hollywood actor in search of a new manager, Celebrity Big Brother promises to be the same turgid annual dribble of televisual diarrhoea we've come to know and love.
We can moan, jab, critique, and generally fart in the direction of this program but many, many, many of us will be tuning in to gawp at the antics of these celebrity desperados.
Mike Madsen – best known as the ear surgeon Mr Blonde in Reservoir Dogs – is the must interesting personality in the house. He must be wondering 'WTF', alongside this cast of empty heads, enhanced breasts, broken egos, and cast-off casualties.
Here at WhichSlotMachine it is our job to create a tenuous link between the news and current affairs of the day and online slot machines and online casinos.
To that effect, we have picked out three online slots that we think connect with the antics and 'personalities' of those lovely Big Brother celebs.
First up: Bejeweled online slot. Although many of the stars of the BB would do it for free, at least one of them (Mr Blonde) will be doing it for the money and the Bling. He will be looking to line up a few priceless gems and is sure to pocket a jackpot if he doesn't walk out.
Next: Cluedo Online Slots. To be honest, the game would be greatly improved if murder was introduced. Perhaps, the bouffanted one could give one of the blond pair of tits a twist of dirty crack and cause a cerebral embolism. The remaining guests would then try to solve the mystery of the dead housemate.
Finally, we are all agreed that the Hitman online slot from Microgaming – available at all good online casinos near you – would be the perfect complement the Channel 5 show. We would love to see a sadistic assassin let loose in the house.
The terrified housemates would hide in a room, hugging each other in fear for their lives. In the garden, a raging assassin would shout at the sky, wield a chainsaw, and play football with the decapitated head of a failed soap star.
Fed up with Big Brother already? No worries: find a lovely online casino (All the ones we recommend are fantastic) and enjoy a little online slot machine action. Check out our cherry picked trusted operators and keep away from this reality bullsh1t……..
