Fuck the Poor

Cameron reaching critical mass

Let's hear it for David Cameron. Thanks to him, here at WhichSlotMachine we are paying a top rate of only 45p instead of 50p in the pound. Now, theoretically, we will be spending that extra 5p giving all you plebs jobs. Nice one, Dave… the directorship is waiting for you when you get kicked out of number 10.

Of course, we won't be spending that money on you. We will be enjoying a little action at the world's finest online casinos, playing the world's even finerererest (sic) online slot machines. The only thing trickling down towards you will be caviar and truffle infused piss. We're in it to win it (on the slots) and fuck the lot of you.

Obviously, our first choice of online slot is the Millionaires Club 3 slot.  This game gives everyone a chance to light a Cohiba with a £50 note, as it invites you to play for a life changing progressive jackpot. That's the kind of money that could buy you a sexual favour off Samantha Cameron.

As you probably know, Cameron belongs to us. He does what we tell him because we created him and we pay him. That's why our next slot machine du jour is the brilliant Frankenstein from NetEnt games. This 20 payline, five reel, online slot is a coffin load of ghoulish fun and a reminder that we are God – not you.

Finally, we love to play the beach life slot from Playtech. Our existence is all about babes, beaches, and fun. We need that tax cut because life on the Cap Ferrat is not cheap. A room at the Grand Hotel starts at £500 – and that's a basic room ffs.

See you online and on the beach!

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